People who know me will be expecting me to say 42. Those who don't may be wondering why 42. If you want to understand my thoughts, it pays to have a sense of humour. The number 42 is, in “The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy” by Douglas Adams, “The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything”, calculated by an enormous supercomputer over a period of 7.5 million years. Unfortunately, no one knows what the question is.
I've tried to stick (not 100% successfully) to one key point in each article, and as my understanding changes, I try to update the articles. That's why this is not a blog. I revisit these articles as my understanding develops. The dates alongside articles are the dates these articles were last updated. Sadly it can't pick up whether the changes were substantial, or merely grammar, vocabulary, etc.
Humour brings its own challenges to understanding. Unsurprisingly I have some thoughts on humour. One of the things I've learned in life is that if people can misunderstand me they will — and even when they can't, they still will. I attempt to indicate attempts at humour to avoid another complication — despite the fact that when we have to explain humour it loses something.
In intensive care after heart surgery, I got to know the nurses a bit. One laughed at my jokes, but as I got to know her, I found was just being polite. She had no sense of humour. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate my peculiar sense of humour (not uncommon) — in her world humour simply didn't exist. I briefly explored this with her because it was such a foreign concept (she wasn't a Kiwi) — but was lost with such an unusual (to me) frame of reference.
Thoughts
I'd already found that nurses live in a different world from the rest of us. It was a shock to find that people can live in this world with different values and priorities from what I had come to regard as normal. I have been through a series of thoughts, and eventually decided to write them down. They're very much a work in progress, but I decided to make them public because I am fortunate in my life to have had my views challenged (at times strongly).
Considering those challenges has modified my views (or not) — so I'm not finished yet. I'm not looking to change people to think like me — that would not be helpful. One people group isn't superior to another. Each has different strengths and weaknesses — just as individuals do. So we can and should all learn from each other.
People
I want to acknowledge people in my life. People will know this includes extended family and friends. That's only natural — especially my wonderful wife / business manager / nurse / etc. who never ceases to amaze me. I'm also thinking of those who've put up with me as I've tossed ideas around — not just recently but throughout my life.
Some may call it arguing or debating — but the fact is that without people to develop and test my ideas with, I would have made even less progress than I have. I'm grateful that there are people around, despite what our political leaders show, who can discuss ideas without making personal attacks on those who might not agree with particular views. And I look forward to that continuing.
Growing
There are other ways to learn — arguing is definitely not the only way. There's what we call studying — a sorely inefficient way to absorb ideas. Then there's darkness. Some of the biggest developments in my life have followed times of trauma — loss of a daughter, loss of a business, loss of health and so on.
I didn't see it at the time, but growth is natural (but not guaranteed) when all else is stripped away. Perhaps it was best illustrated by Chauncey Gardner — again showing my sense of humour. For those who don't know, this was Peter Sellers' last movie role (Being There). Chauncey explains that a garden (gardening is all this simple man really knows) is seasonal — one season followed by another. So winter is followed by spring. Those who feel as though they are in winter might appreciate my own brief encounter with “depression”, albeit undiagnosed, and the way I recovered. It's only one person's journey — and unlike medically caused depression was only the result of a trauma.
I don't expect vast quantities of readers and have decided not to turn this into an open forum. It's not that I seek to avoid debate — I'm just a little jaded by so-called debate — especially on the internet. My most valued friend died of cancer — on my wife's birthday in the year of our 25th wedding anniversary. He lived a full if too short life, leaving a widow and four daughters. That taught me the reality that tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. My stroke and the subsequent issues have further taught me the reality of this.
Still growing
After my wife gave me a kidney in 2014, I found the stroke wasn't the main cause of my thinking being more distorted than usual. We need clean blood — but I hadn't realised what that means until I didn't have it. We're all going to die. I know my kidney or heart or can fail at any time (hopefully not till well after more than a decade) so I'm keen to summarise some things I've learned so if my children and others have questions, they can see some of what I've learned.
At one time (I think it's called youth) I knew every answer to every issue. I've spent the rest of my life unlearning so much of the “truth” I “mastered”, and learning new things. I still believe in Truth. I am glad to be a friend of Jesus Christ — more real today than for the many years I spent in “church”. I look forward to learning new aspects of life — from wherever opportunities may come. That does not imply any view that doesn't agree is necessarily wrong — although it also doesn't mean I must agree with others.